The Tongue-A Double Edged Sword

What does a double-edged sword look like and what is its purpose? An actual sword with two edges (double edged) can be used to cut both ways-up and down or left to right-without having to maneuver the sword. The term double edged sword is an idiom that refers to something that has two sides to it-favorable/unfavorable, blessing/curse, pro/con or good/bad. I know from experience how you can say one thing at it can be received as favorable and unfavorable. My sweet daughter is learning that lesson as a freshman in college sharing a dorm apartment with what started out as total strangers.
If I could reach into her head and mouth, I would help her see just how powerful and dangerous her tongue is. I am sure some of the things that she is saying need to be said but sometimes it isn't what you say but how you say it. Try getting an 18year old independent young woman to control her double-edged sword.
Ask yourself these questions to see if you have a double edged sword for a tongue:
1. When I say something do I get a mixed response? (some agree and some disagree)
2. Have I been told I need to hold my tongue?
3. Have I been accused of being bossy or controlling?
4. Do I speak before I think about what to say?
5. Do people misunderstand my intentions because of what I say and how say it?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, your may be wielding a double edged sword for a tongue. What can you do to tame that tongue and wield it for blessings rather than curses?
1. Listen to yourself speak. This sounds silly but really stop after you say something and truly hear what you said and the tone you said it.
2. Confide in a trustworthy friend and ask them to let you know when what you say cuts both ways. The most important part of this is to listen to your friend and accept what he says. DON'T be defensive or hurt. Grow from it.
3. Make sure what you say builds people up and doesn't knock them down. This does not mean you lie to someone so you have something positive to say. Like my mother always told me, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." You are not being a doormat or letting people get away with anything. On the contrary, you are preventing drama from taking places.
4. You may want to record yourself when you are talking to people. It is surprising how a person thinks they are saying something versus how it actually comes out. Hearing your own voice and the accuracy of the recording will reveal the truth. Don't be ashamed of what you hear-learn from it and change.
5. Be willing to take responsibility for what you say. If you aren't willing to admit you said something-DON'T SAY IT! Once it comes out of your mouth you can't take it back-ever. A person never knows the real impact her words have on someone-good and bad. It is most important then to choose your words wisely.
I love my daughter and this blog is in no way a dig at her. In fact, I see myself in her so often it scares me. If I can spare her a few hard lessons that I learned the hard way, I will consider myself an effective mom.