BE THERE

The last week has been emotionally challenging with the death of a fifth grade student at my school and the sudden illness of my dad. During these times, people often reflect and I am one of those people that does just that.
This week I have thought about how precious and fleeting life is and how I take it for granted, as do many people. I am not talking about valuing life, I am talking about living the moment because you have it. I have read all of the "Fish" philosophy books by Stephen Lundin, Harry Paul and John Christensen. The foundation of those books is a four part premise: PLAY, CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE, MAKE THEIR DAY and BE THERE. In the past I have considered "choose your attitude" and "make their day" to be the two stronger points. I have also read "The Present" by Spencer Johnson in which he describes "the present" as being present. Being present is a gift we can give each person we come in contact with by being there, being present. While someone is talking to us, it means we stop doing whatever it is we are doing and engage with the person speaking to us. I am guilty of not being present with my children, my parents, my staff and even my husband.
Check out your level of being present:
Do you...
1. keep texting while you are having a meal with someone or even just hanging out with them?
2. continue working on email or the computer when someone is talking to you in your office or home?
3. draw, make lists, text or other small tasks while on the phone with someone?
4. find yourself thinking of what you need to do next while someone is talking to you or even thinking about what to say next?
5. interact with other people while someone is talking to you (wave at someone walking by, nod at someone, look around the room or call out to a person close by)?
If you have done one or more, you are not being present and your definitely are not THERE!
Everyone wants to feel and believe what they are saying is being heard, understood and validated. We can't do this if we are not present, not there.
Try to BE THERE and BE PRESENT by doing things like:
1. Put your phone away and on silent when talking with ANYONE!!!! The distraction is too tempting and just hearing your phone can draw your attention away.
2. Keep your eyes on the person talking with you. The eyes and face provide so much information to the conversation. Be sure not to miss the little nuances.
3. If you are busy, let the person know that you do want to hear what they have to say but you are in the middle of something. Make time in your schedule to have him return. He will appreciate your honesty and know you do want to hear what is being said.
4. Observe others to see if they are present or there for you. It is eye opening when you realize you are not being given someones undivided attention.
5. To make sure you are hearing what is being said, you may want to restate what the person is saying, ask questions to clarify and ask them to repeat something.
Don't dismiss someone too quickly. You may never get a chance to hear what he had to say or even share your own wisdom. Life is precious and fleeting so make sure to BE THERE and BE PRESENT!