Bedside Manner

I am sitting in the CVICU at Roper St. Francis Hospital in Charleston, SC. After two days interacting with nurses and doctors regarding my dad's health, I believe medical schools need to focus more classes on bedside manners. One doctor spoke to us and the information he provided was limited and the majority of the time he talked he was looking at his phone-how rude. I was obviously not his priority and my dad wasn't either. Another doctor has been in the hospital two different times and has yet to talk with us. One day he called my mom's cell phone and claimed he couldn't find her. We have been in the room with dad or the waiting room. He must not have looked too hard. Today he didn't speak to mom while she was standing beside my dad's bed. What's up with that? Where is their bedside manner? How much time did their medical school spend on that. It is as if they know we are dependent on them and they don't feel as if they need to make that effort-especially since they are considered some of the best in their fields. If I were to act this way with the parents of students at my school, I would be called on the carpet by the school board, superintendent and probably have a letter to the editor written in my honor. Who is holding the medical profession accountable?
If there is a medical professional in your life or you are one, here are a couple of tips from a patient's family member:
1. Be more sensitive when you talk with the family. They are experiencing a crisis and need your sympathy, kindness and respect.
2. Hear what they are asking you. Don't dismiss their questions or minimize their concerns. Do not assume they won't understand what you are telling them.
3. Be specific with information. Repeat it because the family needs time to process and comprehend what is being said.
4. If you are busy and don't have time at the moment they are asking, then be honest and tell them as soon as you get a handle on what you are working on then you will give them your undivided attention. DO NOT, I repeat, do not ignore them and think they will or should leave you alone and don't get exasperated if they are persistent. This is their loved one!
5. I try to put myself in the place of the parent I talk to about their children so when you are talking to family members of patients, think like you are talking about your own family member and what information you would want and how you would want it.
I realize you have a job to do that can be critical at times. Part of that job is communicating with the families so you are trusted and they are comfortable with the care you are giving. I also recognize that some people are naturally more compassionate and sensitive, but as a health care professional your bedside manner goes a long way in the healing process- not just for the patient but for the family, too.