Merry Christmas

Christmas has always been a special time of year for me. Even before I was a Christian, I loved Christmas. My memories are filled with cookies, Gingerbread houses, finding the perfect tree, decorating it with child made ornaments and listening to Nat King Cole and Bing Crosby on the record player. The season was a time for family. As a child, we never went any where for Christmas. We would stay in Bethel, Ct. and attend midnight service, return home to hang stockings and wait for the arrival of Santa Claus. As long as I can remember, I always have had trouble falling asleep on Christmas Eve. When I was younger, it was about what I was getting that kept me awake. Now, I can't wait to see the joy on the faces of family and friends as they open each present selected just for them.
Christmas is a season for giving-whether a person believes in Christ as his personal Lord and savior or not. Because I believe that Christmas is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, God's one and only Son, I am even more excited and thrilled to celebrate. Childhood memories are precious and I cherish them but they will never compare to the gift God gave when He sent His son.
If you are a believer, take a few moments before you open your presents and get caught up in the day to read the Christmas story in The Gospel of Luke.
If you are not a believer, take a few moments to read the following verses about the reason you celebrate Christmas-Jesus Christ.

Luke 2 (NIV)

The Birth of Jesus

¹ In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ² (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ And everyone went to their own town to register.

⁴ So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵ He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

¹⁵ When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷ When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸ and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹ But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

²¹ On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.

May God fill your heart this year with the love of Christ. Accept this gift from God and have peace that comes only from the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

The Vision of a Leader

People who are not leaders often don't understand a "vision" or "the big picture" that leaders often share with them. Over the years as a principal I have come to terms with not taking this personally. It used to bother me and make me second guess the ideas I would share with my staff. I have come to realize that I can see the bigger picture because I am a leader. I have tried to share the big picture or my vision for my school. Many understand or accept that I know what I am talking about and others don't understand and choose to fight me on some points. There comes a time as a leader that I must go forward with plans even if there are some naysayers. I have not always followed through with some ideas because I didn't have 100% of the staff behind me. As I have grown as a person, Christian, leader and educator, I have learned sometimes I have to make a decision in spite of the naysayers and forge ahead for the greater good.
I often hear my staff and parents state, "I could never do your job." It is true. Not everyone is cut out to be a leader. Because I have been trained to be a principal and I have the spiritual gift of leadership, I am in this position. Because I have the title of principal I can impart my vision or big picture on my staff. I try not to throw my leadership weight around like that. I strongly believe that buy in to an idea is very important. Most times that is how I operate-listening, weighing the opinions of others and allowing my idea to take a back seat. Sometimes I must be like a parent and just act out "because I said so" philosophy because I do see the big picture.
If you are a subordinate and struggle with your boss' grand ideas and don't see the value or purpose, look over my list and give your boss the benefit of the doubt that she knows what she is doing.
1. Has your boss had ideas that have been a success. More successes than flops.
2. The idea is for the greater good of the company. Set your own feelings aside and do what is best for your company.
3. Your boss is willing to admit mistakes and take responsibility for the flops.
4. The vision and the activities that go along with it make the staff/employees better at their jobs.
5. Your boss is in the trenches with the staff when an idea is being implemented. She is not watching from an ivory tower and taking the credit for work you did.
Leaders come in many shapes and sizes. The important thing about being a leader is where her heart lies. Find out where your leaders heart lies and support her. If you can't support your leaders vision, heart or big picture, it may be time to find another organization with a different leader.

Marvelous and Magnificent day in Education

Today concludes American Education Week. Throughout the week my school has participated in a variety of activities to remind the students and staff that American Education is something to celebrate and to be proud.
Monday we wore suspenders to show our "support" of American Education.
Tuesday parents were invited to eat breakfast or lunch and to read to a child's class.
Wednesday we colored torches and posted the poem by George Bernard Shaw about education being a light that is passed on to one another. Not just teachers to students but students to other students.
Thursday we wrote "Thank you" notes on an apple pattern. The notes were to be written to someone in education that we appreciate.
Friday every student, staff and visitor received a snack size pack of "M&M's" to remind us that it is a marvelous and magnificent day in American Education.
I am saddened by the negative spin the politicians, community members, and often parents have of education in America. I know that at Blaney Elementary School the entire staff comes every with a desire to make a difference in each student. Each of us sees our position in education as a calling and we put our entire being into the role. I am offended when judgments are made by people outside of the educational field. It is disheartening that the public is so easily influenced by the media. Every person went to school at some point in his or her life. They only way that was possible is if there were teachers in the schools teaching. Students are not expected to wait to be seen by teachers; they don't need to make an appointment to get an education; their parents don't need to earn a certain amount of money, drive a particular car, own property or even hold a job; and it doesn't matter what a child looks like, acts like or learns like because public education is open to every single child. Wow! Think about that and teachers make less money than doctors, lawyers, bank presidents, CEOs or CFOs. If it weren't for the teachers in these people's lives, they would not have the careers they have.
The next time you want to judge public education I suggest you visit your child's, grandchild's, niece or nephew's, Godchild's or best friend's child's school and see what is going on in public education at the heart of public education-the classroom!

No Regrets

On Monday, October 24, 2011, my dad died. As all four of his children and his wife of 54 years sat around the bed, we cried but most importantly, we laughed and remembered the wonderful times we had as a family of six. Stories were told of how dad got us lost in the woods of Connecticut and wound up in New York State, about camping on Grandma and Grandpa Goldsmith's farm in Delhi, New York and how dad told stories about "greeblies" and calling the cows in the pasture next to our campsite with his rendition of mooing and how he was always there for us. He was a man of routine. We remembered how every morning before he went to teach at Wilton High he would shower, fix fried eggs, pack a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, put on a hat and overcoat and head off to teach. He loved my mom so very much. She was the light in his eyes and he was the light in her eyes. They would sing in the church choirs, walk the dogs, swim in their pool, read for endless hours, watch MASH reruns and listen to Satellite radio. They knew how to demonstrate their love for one another so there were NO regrets on Monday, October 24 when we all kissed dad goodbye and witnessed him take his last breath.
I share all of this with you so you can have NO REGRETS at the end of your life, the life of your parents, spouse, children or friends. It is important to love one another unconditionally, accept people for who they are, enjoy your family and always let your family know that you love them with the words-"I LOVE YOU!" Don't ever assume they know that. Live your life with no regrets of missing your child's school play, baseball game, dance recital. Have no regrets about telling your child, "Not now, maybe later" or "I don't have time." You will never get those moments back to hear your 5 year old tell the same knock knock joke over and over, throw the football, push the swing, make cookies together, read a book, watch your child's favorite cartoon or movie 100 times or cheer him on at a track meet. Time is fleeting-cherish every moment so in the end you have NO REGRETS!

BE THERE

The last week has been emotionally challenging with the death of a fifth grade student at my school and the sudden illness of my dad. During these times, people often reflect and I am one of those people that does just that.
This week I have thought about how precious and fleeting life is and how I take it for granted, as do many people. I am not talking about valuing life, I am talking about living the moment because you have it. I have read all of the "Fish" philosophy books by Stephen Lundin, Harry Paul and John Christensen. The foundation of those books is a four part premise: PLAY, CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE, MAKE THEIR DAY and BE THERE. In the past I have considered "choose your attitude" and "make their day" to be the two stronger points. I have also read "The Present" by Spencer Johnson in which he describes "the present" as being present. Being present is a gift we can give each person we come in contact with by being there, being present. While someone is talking to us, it means we stop doing whatever it is we are doing and engage with the person speaking to us. I am guilty of not being present with my children, my parents, my staff and even my husband.
Check out your level of being present:
Do you...
1. keep texting while you are having a meal with someone or even just hanging out with them?
2. continue working on email or the computer when someone is talking to you in your office or home?
3. draw, make lists, text or other small tasks while on the phone with someone?
4. find yourself thinking of what you need to do next while someone is talking to you or even thinking about what to say next?
5. interact with other people while someone is talking to you (wave at someone walking by, nod at someone, look around the room or call out to a person close by)?
If you have done one or more, you are not being present and your definitely are not THERE!
Everyone wants to feel and believe what they are saying is being heard, understood and validated. We can't do this if we are not present, not there.
Try to BE THERE and BE PRESENT by doing things like:
1. Put your phone away and on silent when talking with ANYONE!!!! The distraction is too tempting and just hearing your phone can draw your attention away.
2. Keep your eyes on the person talking with you. The eyes and face provide so much information to the conversation. Be sure not to miss the little nuances.
3. If you are busy, let the person know that you do want to hear what they have to say but you are in the middle of something. Make time in your schedule to have him return. He will appreciate your honesty and know you do want to hear what is being said.
4. Observe others to see if they are present or there for you. It is eye opening when you realize you are not being given someones undivided attention.
5. To make sure you are hearing what is being said, you may want to restate what the person is saying, ask questions to clarify and ask them to repeat something.
Don't dismiss someone too quickly. You may never get a chance to hear what he had to say or even share your own wisdom. Life is precious and fleeting so make sure to BE THERE and BE PRESENT!

Bedside Manner

I am sitting in the CVICU at Roper St. Francis Hospital in Charleston, SC. After two days interacting with nurses and doctors regarding my dad's health, I believe medical schools need to focus more classes on bedside manners. One doctor spoke to us and the information he provided was limited and the majority of the time he talked he was looking at his phone-how rude. I was obviously not his priority and my dad wasn't either. Another doctor has been in the hospital two different times and has yet to talk with us. One day he called my mom's cell phone and claimed he couldn't find her. We have been in the room with dad or the waiting room. He must not have looked too hard. Today he didn't speak to mom while she was standing beside my dad's bed. What's up with that? Where is their bedside manner? How much time did their medical school spend on that. It is as if they know we are dependent on them and they don't feel as if they need to make that effort-especially since they are considered some of the best in their fields. If I were to act this way with the parents of students at my school, I would be called on the carpet by the school board, superintendent and probably have a letter to the editor written in my honor. Who is holding the medical profession accountable?
If there is a medical professional in your life or you are one, here are a couple of tips from a patient's family member:
1. Be more sensitive when you talk with the family. They are experiencing a crisis and need your sympathy, kindness and respect.
2. Hear what they are asking you. Don't dismiss their questions or minimize their concerns. Do not assume they won't understand what you are telling them.
3. Be specific with information. Repeat it because the family needs time to process and comprehend what is being said.
4. If you are busy and don't have time at the moment they are asking, then be honest and tell them as soon as you get a handle on what you are working on then you will give them your undivided attention. DO NOT, I repeat, do not ignore them and think they will or should leave you alone and don't get exasperated if they are persistent. This is their loved one!
5. I try to put myself in the place of the parent I talk to about their children so when you are talking to family members of patients, think like you are talking about your own family member and what information you would want and how you would want it.
I realize you have a job to do that can be critical at times. Part of that job is communicating with the families so you are trusted and they are comfortable with the care you are giving. I also recognize that some people are naturally more compassionate and sensitive, but as a health care professional your bedside manner goes a long way in the healing process- not just for the patient but for the family, too.

The Tongue-A Double Edged Sword

What does a double-edged sword look like and what is its purpose? An actual sword with two edges (double edged) can be used to cut both ways-up and down or left to right-without having to maneuver the sword. The term double edged sword is an idiom that refers to something that has two sides to it-favorable/unfavorable, blessing/curse, pro/con or good/bad. I know from experience how you can say one thing at it can be received as favorable and unfavorable. My sweet daughter is learning that lesson as a freshman in college sharing a dorm apartment with what started out as total strangers.
If I could reach into her head and mouth, I would help her see just how powerful and dangerous her tongue is. I am sure some of the things that she is saying need to be said but sometimes it isn't what you say but how you say it. Try getting an 18year old independent young woman to control her double-edged sword.
Ask yourself these questions to see if you have a double edged sword for a tongue:
1. When I say something do I get a mixed response? (some agree and some disagree)
2. Have I been told I need to hold my tongue?
3. Have I been accused of being bossy or controlling?
4. Do I speak before I think about what to say?
5. Do people misunderstand my intentions because of what I say and how say it?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, your may be wielding a double edged sword for a tongue. What can you do to tame that tongue and wield it for blessings rather than curses?
1. Listen to yourself speak. This sounds silly but really stop after you say something and truly hear what you said and the tone you said it.
2. Confide in a trustworthy friend and ask them to let you know when what you say cuts both ways. The most important part of this is to listen to your friend and accept what he says. DON'T be defensive or hurt. Grow from it.
3. Make sure what you say builds people up and doesn't knock them down. This does not mean you lie to someone so you have something positive to say. Like my mother always told me, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." You are not being a doormat or letting people get away with anything. On the contrary, you are preventing drama from taking places.
4. You may want to record yourself when you are talking to people. It is surprising how a person thinks they are saying something versus how it actually comes out. Hearing your own voice and the accuracy of the recording will reveal the truth. Don't be ashamed of what you hear-learn from it and change.
5. Be willing to take responsibility for what you say. If you aren't willing to admit you said something-DON'T SAY IT! Once it comes out of your mouth you can't take it back-ever. A person never knows the real impact her words have on someone-good and bad. It is most important then to choose your words wisely.
I love my daughter and this blog is in no way a dig at her. In fact, I see myself in her so often it scares me. If I can spare her a few hard lessons that I learned the hard way, I will consider myself an effective mom.

Love Notes from my Husband

Every time I leave for a trip, Lavoy does something so sweet and meaningful. He write me love notes on the back of his business cards or a small note pad and tucks them in my bag in a variety of places. This simple act lets me know that I am loved. I have found them in my make-up, inside a pocket of pants, inside a shirt sleeve so when I put the shirt on I found the note, in my socks and shoes and even inside my vitamins. There was no cost involved. It took Lavoy a few minutes to write the notes and figure out where he was going to hide them but I would imagine that didn't take very long. The affect his notes had on me will last much longer than it took him to write and hide them.
What have you done for your true love, lately? Sometimes, it is the little things that wind up being so precious to your true love. Be creative and think about how your true love really knows he is loved.
Gary Chapman has written a great book, The Five Love Languages that identifies how different people perceive love differently-
1. words of affirmation
2. physical touch
3. quality time
4. acts of service
5. receiving gifts
It is amazing once we understand that person's love language than we better understand what is important to them which impacts how they behave.
1. Words of affirmation don't cost a penny. Find some words and use them-I love you, You are very important to me, I appreciate it when you take out the trash or unload the dishwasher, Thank you for rolling the trash can out to the curb or bringing it back... You might be surprised how effective those words of affirmation can be.
2. Physical touch is another love language that has no cost. Holding your spouses hand, squeezing his shoulder as you walk past him in the living room, hugging every time you get home and greet each other or sitting close while watching television are just a few examples of physical touch.
3. Quality time is another one that has no cost attached to it. How many times have you heard your spouse ask, "When will you be home? Why don't you stay here instead of play golf? When will you be off of the computer?" These are signals that your spouse wants to spend quality time with you. Spending quality time could be simply watching television together, talking a walk, sitting in your room and catching up from the day, cooking dinner together, or playing "Scrabble", "Chess", "Backgammon" or any other board game.
4. Acts of service is yet another love language that has no cost attached to it. This is probably the hardest one for people to exhibit to their spouse because we live in a society of taking and expecting rather than giving. Acts of service could be something as small as unloading the dishwasher when you know your wife is tired, ironing your husband's clothes for work, putting the children to bed together, calling in your spouses prescriptions for refill, filling the cars up with gas at the start of the week... The list can go on. Don't ask what you can do, just do it!
5. Receiving gifts is the one love language that could have an expense involved. If you are sentimental and creative, you may not need to buy anything. My husband brought me a rock he found at work that was in the shape of a heart and my children bring me leaves, flowers and special mementos that they think I will appreciate. There was no cost involved. Every girl likes a bouquet of roses or a velvet covered box with some bling in it but every gift doesn't always have to be a grand gesture.
Again I ask, what have you done for your true love, lately? Make sure you identify his love language and speak to him.

Life's Journeys

As I write this blog I am on a "Trailways" bus headed for Orlando, Florida with 23 archers from the Blaney Archery Team. This great adventure and event for me and the students makes me pause and reflect on how far I have come from being an elementary student myself.
As a fourth grade student in Bethel, Ct. I found my best friend Lisa Steiger and had my first male teacher, Mr. Fenn. He hung a smiley face on his door with a mustache because he had one. I had a great elementary school experience from singing in the chorus, square dancing and learning to play the trumpet in the fifth grade to having two more male teachers in fifth grade that were ahead of their time in creative and differentiated instruction. My math teacher, Mr. Armadilla, had us learn money by playing the Price is Right and Mr. Frasier had us develop and create a device that would hold an egg and not crack if dropped from the roof of the school. We actually got to go on the roof of the school. Wow! How the memories flood back when you give yourself a chance to remember.
I didn't like middle school but not because of the teachers. It was all the drama that goes on in middle school. Friendships changing, bodies changing and trying to figure our who you are. I had some wonderful teachers in middle school. Mr. Jackson was my sixth grade teacher and he saw something in me that I didn't see so he was a great encourager. He listened, he had high expectations and he cared. The saying, "children don't care how much you know until the know how much you care" is so true. After all these years being able to remember Mr. Jackson and his class is evidence to me that he did care and was a great teacher. I can only pray my former students look back on their experience in my classes with the same respect and appreciation. There were disappointments-didn't make the cheerleading squad, my best friend, Lisa, and I drifted a few years and my naturally curly hair in the age of straight, long air was a confidence killer. My parents taught me responsibility by allowing me to have a paper route. That gave me money to buy things I wanted and do things. I remember buying banana flavored lip smackers, going to the roller skating rink every Saturday, and riding my bike to Bethel Food Market to buy my favorite candy, red licorice, or to the 5 and 10, Jerome's or Mullaney's to get "Razzles" because it is a candy and a gum! Those were the days.
Coming to South Carolina to attend the College of Charleston was life changing. I became a Christian, began my teaching career and met Lavoy. Once I started teaching, I knew I wanted to become a principal. That journey took 13 years-2 years to earn my Masters degree in Administration and another 9 paying my dues. At the time, I couldn't understand why I wasn't being hired for an assistant principal's position but being able to look back I see how much I learned in those nine years. Nine years gave me the opportunity to teach special education in Williamsburg County and Florence District 3. I later moved to Lugoff and taught middle school special education and later 7th grade ELA and 8th grade ELA and math. Being able to say to my staff that I have experienced K to 8th grade, regular education, special education and held a variety of leadership roles while teaching allows them to trust me more because I do speak from experience.
As a mother of three children, my Life's Journey has taken many twists and turns. My current path is watching my two older children find their own life journey without me and Lavoy. That is so hard. Letting go is almost as hard as raising them to be responsible, caring, productive citizens. My heart aches walking through my house that was once filled with activity. One child remains at home so there is still activity-just not as much.
When I was in fourth grade, I never would have imagined or even could have imagined the journey my life would take. It has been good and I know in another 20 years or so I will reflect back and be amazed at the rest of my Life's Journey.

Loving the Unlovable

Do you have people in your life that you come in contact with and have a hard time "loving"? I do. I want to like them, care about them and even love them like Jesus, but it is so hard.
Reasons I find it hard to "love" the unlovable:
1. Don't see their own faults (act like they have none).
2. Has an excuse for EVERYTHING!
3. Thinks they are right about EVERYTHING!
4. Questions my ideas and suggestions.
5. Struggles to complete tasks on time or at all.
6. Listen without hearing and understanding.
Can you feel my pain? Can you relate to what I am saying? So what can we do when we are faced with that unlovable someone?
Things I tell myself to look beyond the annoyances and "love" them anyway:
1. Remind myself that Jesus loves me and I don't deserve His unconditional love. In fact, He loved me so much He died for my sins. If He can do that for me, I certainly can love someone that gets on my nerves from time to time.
2. I pray for that person and for myself. I pray that their eyes would be opened to truth and be humble enough to see their weaknesses. Everyone has weaknesses or character flaws so to think you don't is to think yourself perfect-and no one is!
3. I admit my weaknesses and character flaws to them in hopes of them seeing it is "ok" to admit them and move on.
4. I am honest with them and myself. Being honest doesn't mean throwing feelings out the window. It is important that when you are honest with someone that you are respectful and your intent is not to "one up" that person or appear to have yourself all together. You honestly want to help that person be better at their job, in a relationship or as a person, in general.
5. Put myself in their shoes and see what it is that might cause them to have these behaviors. Trying to walk a mile in someone else's shoes can provide great insight into a person's actions.
6. Find out that person's "Love Language." Gary Chapman has written a great book, The Five Love Languages that identifies how different people perceive love differently-words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts. It is amazing once we understand that person's love language than we better understand what is important to them which impacts how they behave.
7. I consciously work on not becoming one of those people. Anyone at any time can become the unlovable person. I remind myself that I am always one over confident comment, one incomplete project, one excuse, one head nod during a conversation and one challenging question away from becoming that person.
8. Find a confidant to vent to when none of these work or you have just had it. Venting is very therapeutic. Just make sure your confidant knows you are venting and not expecting a solution. My husband is my confidant and I survive the challenges of many unlovable people because he is a great listener when I need him to listen and a great problem solver when I need a solution.
We all have those unlovable people in our lives. Face them, accept them and don't become them!

Send It On

Send it on is similar to Pass It On or Pay it Forward. At Blaney, the fourth grade team initiated the program and again this year they kicked it off. Send It on is a way to have teams get to know one another and do something unique for another team. The fourth grade team sent it on to the third grade team; the third grade team sent it on to the office staff and the office staff is sending it on to the kindergarten team. Fourth grade sent third grade on a scavenger hunt and at the end they were presented with a wooden initial that was painted and decorated. Third grade had the office staff complete a crossword puzzle. Once the puzzle was completed, they were directed to a classroom. In the classroom, they were walked down the red carpet and presented with a popcorn bucket with candy, popcorn and a movie pass. Each "Send it on" activity is recorded in a journal with notes, pictures and remembrances.
Send It On can be used in any work setting.
1. One team needs to initiate the process by getting a notebook or nice journal and selecting a team.
2. Make the plan and set a date.
3. Send it on.
4. Provide a deadline for when it needs to be sent on so it doesn't loose it's momentum and excitement. Our school gives ten days.
5. Enclose these lyrics from the Disney song-"Send It On."
Send it on
On and on
Just one hand can heal another
Be a part Reach a Heart
Just one spark starts a fire
With one little action
The chain reaction will never stop
Make it Strong
Shine a Light and Send It On

6. Make it personal and fun. Blaney's theme is "Setting the Stage for Learning" so most of the activities have revolved around the movies.
7. Have fun. This is not supposed to be a burden. I believe when we give to others we are more blessed than if we receive something. So give the gift of a smile and "Send it on."

Addicted to Books

My school had our fall book fair last week and I just had to go in and check out the books. In Lisa language that means I had to BUY some books. Even though these would not be on my NOOK Color, I just had to get some books I could share with the students.
I read one last night, The Small Adventure of Popeye and Elvis by Barbara O'Connor. One of the reasons I selected this book was it takes place in South Carolina so I just had to get it. It was a quick read and could easily be a read aloud to be completed in less than 2 weeks. Teachers could use this book to start the new year off and get students talking about their summer because it is about new friendships and a summer adventure. I also bought and read, The Hallelujah Flight by Phil Bildner and Sophie Peterman Tells the Truth by Sarah Weeks. These are picture books and can be read in one sitting to your class. The Hallelujah Flight is based on true facts about James Banning and his flight across the United States in 1932. Sophie Peterman shares her true feelings and thoughts on being a big sister. The illustrations for both books are eye catching and capture the tone of the story. I am reading next, Faith, Hope and Ivy June by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor and Signal by Cynthia Defelice. I'll share my thoughts on those two once I have read them. What have you read lately? Anything I might be interested in reading?

When I Grow Up

As long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a teacher or work with children. For the past 26 years, I have been working in that capacity. I was recently asked what do I want to do after I retire or next in my career. I know I am not the type of person to just stay home after I retire but I don't know anything else but education. It is hard to imagine myself outside of the public school setting.
Things I enjoy doing may lead me to an answer for a second career or a career in my retirement years.
1. Reading
2. Crafts
3. Talking, socializing, making friends
4. Drinking my favorite treats: coffee, diet Dr. Pepper, passion ice tea lemonade
5. Games: word, brain teasers and puzzles
6. Taking pictures
7. Babies
8. Spending time with Lavoy
9. Vacationing at the beach
What can I possibly do outside of teaching and being a principal? I have mentioned to Lavoy on more than a few occasions that I would love to own a book store/coffee shop at the beach. That would allow me to do many of the things I enjoy. I have also thought about getting a degree in library science and become a media specialist somewhere but I believe that might only address the reading and talking. Because I have always known what I have wanted to do as a career, this is a new place for me. I can't be a principal forever. I will eventually need to pass the torch on to someone younger. I find that I am in a similar situation as my 20 year old son that is trying to figure out his career path. He is struggling with what to do because there are many things he enjoys doing but isn't sure if he wants to make any of them a career.
I have a few more years before I decide but I would like to have a plan before I hand over the school's keys to someone else. When I grow up I think I will be a.......

Teaching with Love and Logic

My School Leadership Team is reading "Teaching with Love and Logic" this year for a book study. Many of the "tips" and "pearls" seem reasonable and simple and yes, logical. I was watching "The Blind Side" this weekend and a particular scene in the movie where "LeeAnn " tells the coach that he should get to know his players better because "Michael" had scored in the 98% in protective tendencies. That is a great example of what Jim Fay and David Funk mean when they write, "You can't take a withdrawal from an account when there have been no deposits" (page 35).
After reading the first seven chapters, I am curious to know how our school wide discipline plan fits with the three rules of "Love and Logic." Also, reflecting on your own experience interacting with students during a discipline issue, do you find yourself being controlling? Be honest.
Respond to this statement-"Fair doesn't mean the same."

Reading Addict

I love to read. I have shared that in a previous blog and my husband tells anyone that will listen that I am a "voracious" reader. He encouraged me to start blogging about the books I read. He thinks I read more than any other person. I am not sure about that so I am hoping to hear from the virtual community. I am interested to hear about the books you have read and feedback on my comments regarding the books I have read.
How I select books to read:
1. This may be silly to some of you but I always look at the cover. The cover can tell a great deal about a book. I rarely select a book I don't enjoy when I use the cover test.
2. Books that can cross the curriculum, start conversations, inspire, connect and I can share.
3. I don't stick with one kind of genre. I read anything from non-fiction, fiction, historical fiction, Christian novels, self-discovery books, leadership, team building, children picture books and award winning books.
4. Read the comments about the book that other authors wrote. If you know the authors and know their writing, their comments may help you decide to read or not to read. This is also an opportunity for you to expand the list of authors whose books you read. I have a Nook color and when I purchase a book, Barnes and Noble will recommend books to me based on the kind of books I purchased. I have read some books I never would have looked at if they had not been recommended.
5. I look at books my friends and family are reading. Most times we all enjoy similar books.
6. I read book reviews in magazines and get suggestions from the reviewers.
7. The time of year determines what I read. I tend to read lots of Christian fiction in the beginning of the summer. I move toward informational books related to my job (leadership, team building, goal setting, data, instruction...) as the summer winds down and I prepare for the school year. Throughout the year, I read what I am in the mood to read. Many times I have two to three books going at one time. Right now, I am reading Summer Sisters by Judy Blume, Forgotten God by Francis Chan and The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon. The three books represent three areas in my life that I usual focus my reading-pleasure, Christian growth and inspiration or direction as a school leader.

Books I have read in August and September:
1. Unbroken-great book about World War II, prisoner of war of the Japanese
2. Lost in Shangri-La-another super read about World War II, plane crash in New Guinea that had 3 survivors-one being a WAC
3. The Help-insightful, entertaining, a little disturbing to know how cruel the human race can be
4. The Seed-good read about finding your purpose when your life is stale or you fell like you're in a rut
5. The Diary of Anne Frank-read this to challenge my son who had to read it for English I, not at all what I was thinking Anne Frank to be like

Super Mom!

I have a dear friend that thinks I am a "Super Mom" like a super hero. Many days I feel less than super because there is always so much to do and so little time. Most 21st century mothers work out of the home and then after the paying job go to work in the home. Our culture expects the same home life for our children that we had as children. I can tell you that is unrealistic and it is a pressure and expectations too many moms put on themselves.
I recently talked with another dear friend about this very issue. She was feeling quite overwhelmed by her paying job-which for most people is enough to send them over the edge. This mom of three boys and a husband that has an ever changing work schedule is trying to juggle her paying job (career), children, home and the many things that go with children and a home. I hope the advice I gave her helped. She is experiencing the same feelings I experienced on a regular basis as a mom of three. Mine are older now so the pressure and expectations have shifted.
If you are a mother of young children, work in or out of the home and you are asking yourself, "Is this really all there is to my life?" -then read on.

1. Have hope because it gets better. It may not be until your children are in high school or college and able to drive, but it does get better.

2. Enjoy your children and DO NOT fret over the house not being perfect, clothes not folded and put away or every meal being a Martha Stewart recipe. Your children need you-not a fancy table with fancy meals (they probably won't even eat because it doesn't look like a Happy Meal), not an immaculately cleaned house, and certainly not a weeping mother that is so overwhelmed by the pressures she has placed on herself.

3. Laundry can be washed and set in a basket until you really have the time to fold and put away. If your children pick clothes out of the basket to wear, so what, they are dressed in clean clothes.

4. Well rounded children are important but all of your children do not have to do everything. Limit the extra curricular activities that your children are signed up for each season. One sport a year, one club (Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, RAs/GAs/Awanas), music lessons for one instrument or dance or karate. Provide your child options and use them to teach him how to make choices and that he can't have everything.

5. DO NOT beat yourself up if you feed your child cereal for dinner, occasionally. That's why multi-vitamins were created.

6. Make time for yourself. If you don't feed your body, mind and soul, you can't feed your spouse or child's.

7. Make time for your spouse. Have a date night, make him your priority and remind him that you still love him. I was guilty of putting the children well before my husband. Because we have a healthy marriage he communicated with me that he felt slighted, unnecessary and unimportant. Women need to be told and shown how much they are loved-guess what? So do men! Keep the love burning between you and your husband because your children will grow up, move out and have families of their own and you two will be left in the house alone to pick up where you began before you had your children.

8. PRAY every day for strength, guidance, wisdom, discernment and love. I have horrible memories of losing my temper with my children all because of an unspoken expectations I put on myself about what a mother should and should not be. So, pray to be discerning about your priorities, pray for strength when you don't know how you can get home, fix dinner and help study spelling, pray for love to flow out over your family even when they are not acting lovable or you are not feeling lovable and pray for God's guidance in the right way to raise your children.

9. Hang in there! Soon you will be taking your children to college or paying for a wedding or holding a grandchild wishing you could have your "baby"back. Time is fleeting so don't spend your time trying to be something that you think you should be-it's probably not the mom your kids want you to be.

Character Under Pressure

A person's true character is revealed when he is under pressure. Everyone, at some point in their lives, will experience pressure, stress and uncomfortable situations. The best way to handle pressure is to have a plan.
Demonstrating Good Character Under Pressure
1. Have a daily quiet time. When you are in a relationship with God, He can provide you with wisdom, peace, grace and words to deal with whatever situation you may face.
2. Embrace the stress as an opportunity to grow. Scripture tells us in Malachi 3 that the Lord refines us like silver and gold. The only way silver and gold are purified is to be put under fire and pressure. The end result is stronger and purer silver or gold.
3. Most issues that cause stress are out of your control. Most circumstances that people stress over don't even come to fruition. Most things aren't altered with you worrying or being anxious. So, recognize the issues you can control or change and address those and the ones that are out of your control you just accept and be gracious and humble.
4. Hold your tongue. Scripture also tells us in James 1:19 that we should be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to anger.
5. Ask yourself-Am I demonstrating my true character by the traits revealed by my actions? Am I a different person in different settings or am I the same in all settings? True character is revealed in our traits every day but more so when we are under pressure or stressed.

Be Your Own Advocate

Over the years, I have learned that nobody knows better what a person needs than herself. I learned with my Meneire's disease that if I wanted answers and treatment, I would have to fight to find a physician that would help me. I have a several friends that are struggling with health issues and they haven't gotten any answers. When dealing with physicians, all patients need to remember that physicians are human and don't have all of the answers. My own experience and observing the experiences of my friends have moved me to create a list for chronically ill people to consider when seeking medical advice, answers and just plain relief.
1. Don't accept the answer, "You just have to live with it." Modern medicine makes advances every day and you can bet there is someone out there that understands your illness and has some answers.
2. Don't allow any medical professional to make you feel like it is in your head. Symptoms that can not be seen or "measured" are real.
3. Don't keep going to the same doctor and get the sames answers, prescriptions or endless follow up appointments. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.
4. Don't devalue yourself and think what you are experiencing is not worth bothering family, friends and health care professionals. If you feel it, it is real to you.
5. Find a support group. Not just spouses, friends, parents and siblings but people that are experiencing similar conditions or can relate to the doctor run-around. The Internet is a great way to find support groups. I have found many blogs and social networks that validate the symptoms and the emotions that go along with my illness.
6. Chronic illness can cause depression so don't dismiss those symptoms. Talk to a doctor you trust and discuss options to combat your depression.
7. If you are the spouse of someone chronically ill, don't dismiss them, give up on them or quit. My husband, Lavoy, is my advocate. If it had not been for his unwillingness to accept "live with it" I wouldn't have gone to Shea Ear clinic for treatment. Family and friends are crucial to the physical and mental well being of someone that has a chronic illness.
8. There are always exceptions to illnesses. Not everyone has textbook symptoms. It is possible for you to be suffering with a known illness but have one quirky symptom that is atypical.
9. Be healthy-eat right and when you can-exercise. Exercise produces endorphins and endorphins make people happy.
10. Cling to the hope that God doesn't put more on us than we can handle. He can use our illness for His glory.

1 Corinthians 10:13 The Message (MSG)

¹³No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have h

ad to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.

Children Need Their Parents to be Role Models

As a public school educator, I have the fortune and misfortune to observe parental behavior on a daily basis. It is amazing how much I learn about a child by watching his parents. Sadly, most behaviors learned from parents are negative. Children watch and copy everything his mom and dad do because he wants to be "just like" mom or dad. There is a great country song "I've been watching you" by Rodney Atkins. It describes exactly what our children learn from us without even being intentionally taught.
Check your role model status by looking at the following tips:
I am a role model if...
1. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ
2. I love my spouse and demonstrate that love for my child to observe.
3. I use appropriate language all the time because I never know when my child is listening to me.
4. I throw trash in trash cans and not out the car window.
5. I tell the truth, even to my child.
6. I work inside or outside of the home showing my child what good work ethic looks like.
7. I give back to the school, community and church to teach my child that it is better to give than to receive and it is not ALL ABOUT ME!
8. I make my child's education a priority.
9. I set parameters for my child: give him chores, set a reasonable curfew, expect good grades, expect appropriate behavior, monitor his friends and their activities, and DON'T be afraid to tell your child NO!
10. I am "there" for my child-at ball games, school functions, dance recitals, piano recitals and especially at the end of each school day to check homework, listen to him about his day and sit at the dinner table to eat your evening meal.

How did you do? Can you say you do 25%, 50%, 75% or 100% of these behaviors? No one is perfect so don't beat yourself up if you don't do all of them. Just think about what you do and how your child learns by watching you.