Time Marches On

In October, Blaney lost a student and I lost my dad. Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard and cannot be easily remedied. Healing takes a long time and sometimes in the midst of that healing it hurts to see that the world keeps moving forward as if you haven't lost anything.
I have heard many people say that the "firsts" after someones death are the hardest. I believe it but I also know that for the rest of my life I will miss my dad. I would imagine that Carissa's family will miss her for the rest of their lives.
If I could give outsiders a piece of advice as it relates to dealing with mourners, don't expect them to "get over it" because you have. My mom's sister told her two months after my dad died to"get over it." Imagine not being able to speak to your best friend ever again, hear his/her voice, or see them sitting across the lunch table. That is not something someone can get over in two months or even two years. I realize people's lives go on while the grieving are left to grieve. Just remember that as your life goes on, my mother, sister, brothers and I, as well as the Stover family, have to move on with our lives minus our loved one. There are no special words for anyone to say. The best advice is to recognize that the grieving process is just that, a process and it is different for everyone. I don't need you to cry with me, I need to you to love me when I am crying. The saying, "time heals all wounds" may be right. I don't know yet because my wound is still wide open and hurting. Don't measure your own experiences to mine or my families. Just love us and love the Stover family.
Since my dad's death, I have become acutely aware of my friends and colleagues that have experienced loss and how I marched on in my life forgetting that they each were experiencing grief. As I look back over the past 15 years I can recall many of my friends and colleagues that have experienced lost.
These names listed are those I remember: Lavoy Carter (dad),Melissa Emmons (mom,dad and grandmother), Lisa Farmer (mom). Eva Roach (dad and dad in law), Beth Granger (dad), Jeanne Aman (dad), Velma Jackson (dad), Karen Ortiz (mom in law), Mr. and Mrs. Kelly (son, Kyle), Ruth Reeder (mom), Susan Trofatter (mom), Monica Lloyd (dad), Rose Sheheen (mom), Kyle Banner (dad), James and Brittany Fritch (dad), Lisa Ryder (mom), April Dixon (grandmother), Mandy Sanders (husband), Mary Anne Byrd (dad), Nita Moak (mom and mom in law), Pastor Bruce Hancock (dad), Cathy Drees (father in law), Judy Reed (dad), Holly Harrington (dad), Rebecca Harris (dad), and Wende Myers (father in law).
There are probably many more that I have forgotten because time marches on but I want to be better about remembering and honoring the family left behind to mourn, grieve and live without their loved ones.