Character Under Pressure

A person's true character is revealed when he is under pressure. Everyone, at some point in their lives, will experience pressure, stress and uncomfortable situations. The best way to handle pressure is to have a plan.
Demonstrating Good Character Under Pressure
1. Have a daily quiet time. When you are in a relationship with God, He can provide you with wisdom, peace, grace and words to deal with whatever situation you may face.
2. Embrace the stress as an opportunity to grow. Scripture tells us in Malachi 3 that the Lord refines us like silver and gold. The only way silver and gold are purified is to be put under fire and pressure. The end result is stronger and purer silver or gold.
3. Most issues that cause stress are out of your control. Most circumstances that people stress over don't even come to fruition. Most things aren't altered with you worrying or being anxious. So, recognize the issues you can control or change and address those and the ones that are out of your control you just accept and be gracious and humble.
4. Hold your tongue. Scripture also tells us in James 1:19 that we should be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to anger.
5. Ask yourself-Am I demonstrating my true character by the traits revealed by my actions? Am I a different person in different settings or am I the same in all settings? True character is revealed in our traits every day but more so when we are under pressure or stressed.

Be Your Own Advocate

Over the years, I have learned that nobody knows better what a person needs than herself. I learned with my Meneire's disease that if I wanted answers and treatment, I would have to fight to find a physician that would help me. I have a several friends that are struggling with health issues and they haven't gotten any answers. When dealing with physicians, all patients need to remember that physicians are human and don't have all of the answers. My own experience and observing the experiences of my friends have moved me to create a list for chronically ill people to consider when seeking medical advice, answers and just plain relief.
1. Don't accept the answer, "You just have to live with it." Modern medicine makes advances every day and you can bet there is someone out there that understands your illness and has some answers.
2. Don't allow any medical professional to make you feel like it is in your head. Symptoms that can not be seen or "measured" are real.
3. Don't keep going to the same doctor and get the sames answers, prescriptions or endless follow up appointments. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.
4. Don't devalue yourself and think what you are experiencing is not worth bothering family, friends and health care professionals. If you feel it, it is real to you.
5. Find a support group. Not just spouses, friends, parents and siblings but people that are experiencing similar conditions or can relate to the doctor run-around. The Internet is a great way to find support groups. I have found many blogs and social networks that validate the symptoms and the emotions that go along with my illness.
6. Chronic illness can cause depression so don't dismiss those symptoms. Talk to a doctor you trust and discuss options to combat your depression.
7. If you are the spouse of someone chronically ill, don't dismiss them, give up on them or quit. My husband, Lavoy, is my advocate. If it had not been for his unwillingness to accept "live with it" I wouldn't have gone to Shea Ear clinic for treatment. Family and friends are crucial to the physical and mental well being of someone that has a chronic illness.
8. There are always exceptions to illnesses. Not everyone has textbook symptoms. It is possible for you to be suffering with a known illness but have one quirky symptom that is atypical.
9. Be healthy-eat right and when you can-exercise. Exercise produces endorphins and endorphins make people happy.
10. Cling to the hope that God doesn't put more on us than we can handle. He can use our illness for His glory.

1 Corinthians 10:13 The Message (MSG)

¹³No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have h

ad to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.

Children Need Their Parents to be Role Models

As a public school educator, I have the fortune and misfortune to observe parental behavior on a daily basis. It is amazing how much I learn about a child by watching his parents. Sadly, most behaviors learned from parents are negative. Children watch and copy everything his mom and dad do because he wants to be "just like" mom or dad. There is a great country song "I've been watching you" by Rodney Atkins. It describes exactly what our children learn from us without even being intentionally taught.
Check your role model status by looking at the following tips:
I am a role model if...
1. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ
2. I love my spouse and demonstrate that love for my child to observe.
3. I use appropriate language all the time because I never know when my child is listening to me.
4. I throw trash in trash cans and not out the car window.
5. I tell the truth, even to my child.
6. I work inside or outside of the home showing my child what good work ethic looks like.
7. I give back to the school, community and church to teach my child that it is better to give than to receive and it is not ALL ABOUT ME!
8. I make my child's education a priority.
9. I set parameters for my child: give him chores, set a reasonable curfew, expect good grades, expect appropriate behavior, monitor his friends and their activities, and DON'T be afraid to tell your child NO!
10. I am "there" for my child-at ball games, school functions, dance recitals, piano recitals and especially at the end of each school day to check homework, listen to him about his day and sit at the dinner table to eat your evening meal.

How did you do? Can you say you do 25%, 50%, 75% or 100% of these behaviors? No one is perfect so don't beat yourself up if you don't do all of them. Just think about what you do and how your child learns by watching you.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I am hearing impaired due to a medical condition that has caused a degenerative hearing loss over the past 10 years. The problem is speaking louder or turning the volume up will not help me hear. The hearing loss I suffer with is clarity. While some of it is volume, most of it is understanding what people are saying. I know people are talking to me but their words are muffled. I have described it several ways: 1. People's voices sound like the voices out of the drive-thru speaker at a fast food restaurant and 2. People's voices sound like a radio that isn't quite tuned in to one station-it's between stations and the message is distorted.
Some tips on speaking so ALL people can understand you, not just the hearing impaired.
1. Keep your hands away from your face-particularly your mouth. Facial expressions are a great indicator of what is being said and how it should be interpreted. Also, many hearing impaired people read lips.
2. Face the person you are speaking to at the time. Our voices being sent in a different direction make it hard to catch what is being said. It's also just good social practice to keep eye contact with the person you are speaking with whether he/she is hearing impaired or not.
3. Speak clearly and speak up. I have found more people than not mumble, don't articulate their words or talk so softly. Being hearing impaired takes a great deal of energy to listen. There are some cultural dialects that are more difficult to understand so be aware that someone that isn't from your region may need you to speak slower and clearer.
4. MOST importantly, if you are asked to repeat yourself, DO NOT say "never mind" or "it wasn't important." It brings on frustration to the person trying to "get" what is being said when the request to repeat is dismissed.

Make a hearing impaired person feel valued by taking the time to apply these four tips.

Appreciation

Today the entire staff of Blaney Elementary School reported for work. I met with each team-kindergarten to fifth grade, related arts, special education and the instructional assistants. As I talked with the assistants, I realized that rarely, if ever, do I tell them I appreciate the job each of them does to make a difference in the life of the children at Blaney.
Today I made a point to say, "You are important and what you do is important." I also told them "You make a difference in the lives of the children and Thank you." I also apologized for not showing my appreciation to them more often.

Why was that such a revelation for me?Here are a few reasons why I think many of us don't verbally appreciate groups of people:
1. You "assume" they know they are important and appreciated or we think they don't have a need to be appreciated. WRONG! Everyone needs to hear it because everyone questions their value and purpose at some time in their life.
2. You don't know what to say or if what you say will be appreciated (how ironic). My advice-say it from the heart and the rest is up to the receiver of the appreciation.
3. You get busy and caught up in your "job" and fail to make this a priority. Relationships are a priority and if you want your organization to reach its potential, than working on those relationships is essential. Which means-showing appreciation!
4. You are so dense you don't appreciate your staff. To you I say, get a different job, a different staff or change something so you learn to appreciate them.
My thoughts on the benefits of appreciation:
1. You will feel good about making someone feel good.
2. Your staff will perform better because they believe they are valued.
3. Your organization will reach its potential because the work ethic will improve.
4. Your respect for your staff and their respect for you will increase.
5. Your work environment will be more pleasant, thus making coming to work a joy rather than a job.
Showing someone appreciation is one of the simplest ways to make a difference in so many areas. The great thing is that in today's economy, it doesn't cost a thing to express appreciation with true, heartfelt words. So, go show your appreciation for someone.

Memories

Yesterday I visited my parents and was handed a rather large box of photos. The photos were all of me or my own family-Lavoy, Jordan, Kelli and Craig. I looked through the pictures and couldn't help but smile at the multitude of pictures of Jordan, Kelli and Craig when they were five years old and younger and Lavoy when he was still strawberry blond and I was thinner and less wrinkled. Some of the baby pictures tested my memory of which child was in the photo. When I had my baby in my arms and photos were being taken, I thought I would never forget this moment. Little did I know that there would be thousands of those moments and I would in fact forget that exact moment. I can remember the general time frame but not the details I so confidently thought I would. Oh I was so young, naive and full of myself. I don't know if I failed to keep clear details of some events because they really weren't all that momentous or if it was because the children were too little to really have a role in the event. It seems that most of the memories I have that are so vivid are the ones where, as a family, we built memories by doing things as a family. The many vacations to Holden Beach, Universal Studios and Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida and even those long journeys to Connecticut to see my sister and older brother. Most importantly, the vacations we shared with mine and Lavoy's parents:the beach and Connecticut with my parents and the Grand Canyon and Dollywood with Lavoy's parents. We have pictures of all of those events but most importantly we have the memories. We have the joy of remembering Christmas Eve at Granny and G-daddy's and Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa, lighting sparklers and marching around Grandma and Grandpa's pool for 4th of July, hunting, fishing and riding four wheelers with G-daddy in the country where Granny grew up, Easter egg hunts, graduations, birthday parties and many more celebrations that brought us all together. No-one can take those away from me-even if I don't have a box full of photographs. I have a head and heart filled with the memories and the love that was shared and will continue to be shared. There is no greater gift we can give our children then the memories of family. Family is what makes us who we are so go make memories and take a few photos while you're at it.

Living a Life of Purpose

Over the past ten years, there have been a number of books dedicated to finding your "purpose." I know I read "A Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren and "A Woman on Purpose" by Cynthia Heald in an effort to make certain I knew my life's purpose. I found the two Bible studies to be helpful since both books are based on scripture. Currently, I am reading "The Seed" by Jon Gordon. I have read several of his books and when Michael Hyatt recommended this book on his blog, I knew I needed to get a copy for myself. As I read "The Seed" I kept thinking of my twenty year old son and how he is struggling to find his "place" in life which to me translates "his purpose." As parents, we hope to raise our children to be prepared for life after high school and all that comes with being an "adult." However, in order for our children to find their way, they must experience the growing pains of making right and wrong decisions. I want to step in and rescue my son and help him find his way but part of finding his "purpose" is stumbling.
If you are searching for your purpose, I encourage you to first ask yourself
1. Do I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?
2. Am I reading my Bible and praying to gain God's guidance and wisdom?
3. Am I seeking the counsel of older, wiser Christians?
4. Am I listening to God's word and the words elders?
5. What makes me laugh, smile, proud or satisfied with myself?
6. Read any of the books I mentioned and don't stop until you are where God has planned for you to be.